Quotes from the Movie Better Off Dead

I know its bacon... but what have you done to it?!

Al Myer

Joanne Greenwald... the girl with the antennae on her face?

Lane Myer

I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

Lane Myer

She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile.

Lane Myer

Uh, my brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and my grandmother, she dropped acid and freaked out and hijaked a schoolbus full of...penguins.

Lane Myer

I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire.

Lane Myer

I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I'm no dummy!

Charles de Mar

This mountain is made entirely out of snow... Do you know what the street value of this mountain is?

Charles de Mar

Dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!

Charles de Mar

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

Charles de Mar

She doesn't date certain members of the basketball team: she dates the whole team!

Beth Truss

Two dollars!

Johnny Gasparini

I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you.

Monique Junot

Oscar Meyer!

Roy Stalin

Is Oscar here your main weiner man?

Roy Stalin